Guess what time it is! No cheating! No looking at clocks! No checking sundials! No pressing your ear to the earth to become one with its rotation and vibrations, so fully integrating your soul into that of nature that you sense time on a level not felt by our petty societal concerns! None of that!

Give up? It’s Twitter time! See, if you’d been able to look at a clock, it would have told you that.

Sorry, I’m not sure what I’m talking about today. I’m just so excited to look at some funny tweets. Let’s hurry up and do that before I say more nonsense.

10. Fork you

The question is: did you tell her yes?

9. Rest in Greece

That’s a marketing idea you could have sold instead of giving out for free.

https://twitter.com/EmissaryKerry/status/1295435074192670721

8. Just one thing

Or don’t, that’s fine too.

https://twitter.com/catcohen/status/1295059519907627008

7. Regression jam

Aaaand now I’m doing the very same thing.

6. History in the making

I could use a full book of facts like these.

5. Working it out

Yeah, thanks for that.

4. Pressing pause

I can see the cogs turning behind your eyes.

3. At least I tried

I might have accidentally just made bread.

2. Picture this

Everybody needs to leave this poor man alone, he’s just vibing.

1. A lesson in tolerance

It only gets truer with every year that passes.

And now Twitter time is over. But fear not – it shall strike again soon. When you least expect it.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us in the comments.