I love sentences like “my tweet is really blowing up,” because they’re the kind of things that would have been absolute gibberish just 10 years ago but now we all understand. I don’t remember what we did before we sat on our phones trading jokes on a micro-blogging site all day hoping to create a hit, and frankly, I don’t want to remember.
Of course, not every hilarious tweet makes it to superstar status. Enjoy this trove of some hits and hidden gems from the world of Twitter.
10. Stop, isolate and listen
https://twitter.com/phranqueigh/status/1248024777534713856
9. All Good Bois Go to Heaven
I'm pretty sure if you see your dog do a stretch and you dont say "oh big stretch!" then you're going to hell
— Gbay99 (@Gbay99) January 21, 2020
8. “This is my personal time, Kevin.”
My dog waiting for me to leave so he can hump the pillows pic.twitter.com/qt3hPGE4TD
— Tank.Sinatra (@GeorgeResch) April 8, 2020
7. It’s only 700 blocks away
I track my packages soon as i hit confirm payment 🤷🏽♂️
— normal boy quanno 😷🤫 (@longlivedtae) December 18, 2019
6. I’m a walking warning
I’m a red flag,
But I could be YOUR red flag 😉
— Funny Introvert (@NotTokenBlack) February 18, 2020
5. At least I’m recycling
Don’t judge me for all the wine bottles and Truly cans you see in my recycling bin. Move along.
— momsbehavingbadly (@badbadmoms) March 26, 2020
4. Snap, crackle, ouch
https://twitter.com/GeorgeResch/status/1247962375615111180
3. I’m in this post and I don’t like it
Ugly people take one beautiful picture and use it everywhere for the next 5 years. This is what I do.
— Zarish. (@Some_Kaali) May 31, 2018
2. My anxiety has anxiety
My Wife LEFT me because I'm paranoid and anxious all the time. OH, false alarm. She just went out to get the mail.
— chatblue15 (@chatblue15) December 13, 2018
1. Asking the real questions
Why do bash “dead-beat” dads for not being there for their kids but we never question if the child has bad vibes? Or if they’re just unpleasant to be around?
— sadiq (@SadiqoJN) December 7, 2018
Check out those users for some more funnies. Bless them with your likes and retweets, so that the Twitter comedy economy may continue.
Who’s your favorite funny twitter personality?
Tell us in the comments.