When you’re just starting to think about and try for a baby, the idea that you could get pregnant and not end up with a baby is the furthest thing from your mind.

For too many people, though, that nightmare scenario becomes a reality, and hundreds of thousands of couples have dealt with a miscarriage at some point during their journey to become parents.

Women talk about it with their friends and others they trust, but it’s possible that their partner’s feelings go largely ignored – not because they don’t want to hear about it, but because they’re trying to be strong for their wife who is hurting.

Here are 10 partners’ reactions to their loss.

10. All feelings are valid.

I don’t think these make you a bad person.

9. Give each other space.

Everyone handles that initial grief in their own way.

8. This is 100% awful.

I want to throttle that woman with my own two hands.

7. You never know what people are going through.

Topics like this should really be taboo unless you’re a very close friend or family.

6. What might have been…

That’s one of the hardest parts to deal with, I think.

5. Grief is a beast.

There’s no way around, only through.

4. Everyone heals at their own rate.

There’s no rushing it, that’s for sure.

3. Oh, bless her heart.

If it’s helping her, just let it go.

2. It’s a new normal.

You just have to adjust to it as best as you can.

1. It can affect you in surprising ways.

When the time comes, you’ll know that it’s right.

It’s a tough time, but if there’s one thing I hope it’s that it brings you and your partner closer together instead of further apart.

Have you experienced this? If you’ve been through it with your partner, let us know what your reaction was in the comments!