10 People Who’d Really Still Rather Call Themselves Virgins

It’s been said a lot lately that virginity is sort of a construct.

On a basic level it seems simple enough. Have you had sex yet? No? Then we call that virginity. Pretty simple. Until you start getting into discussion of “Well, does X count as sex?” which is complicated even further by the fact that virginity is such a thoroughly stigmatized thing.

Depending on what social circle you find yourself in, your status as “virgin” might be mocked, or your status as “non-virgin” might be shunned and condemned. You may have built up that transition in your mind so thoroughly that when it actually comes and seems disappointing, underwhelming, or even scarring, you may not want to acknowledge that it’s passed.

It’s a mess. Which is why these people would rather think of themselves as virgins, despite some quibbles to the contrary.

10. A meaningless drunken fumble

What’s it all about?

9. Sounds like a real bummer.

Time to get sober, bruh!

8. Neither did I

Well at the very least I’d call that disappointing.

7. Thanks mom

Boy, what a nightmare.

6. Technically not

Size does matter to some extent.

5. If you can even call it that

What’s your rush?

4. The only time I’ve tried

That could be for any number of reasons.

3. At what point

I’m not sure it expires, but, whatever.

2. Do people agree

Uuuuummmm.

1. Never had great

You will someday!

Remember not to put too much pressure on yourself. They’re just labels.

Do you consider yourself a virgin? Why or why not?

Tell us in the comments.