The human brain is still largely a mystery. Why do we do the things we do? How come I always have to walk to the rhythm of the music I’m listening to? Why do I feel compelled to tell my cat she is a cat 40 times a day? We can’t know. There’s just no way to know. These strangely relatable idiosyncrasies are as fascinating as they are frustrating, but at least we have the solidarity of knowing we’re not alone in experiencing them.

That’s what this list is all about. The psychological phenomenons for which there have not been names…until now.

14. The Sleep Gamble

On the one hand, my livelihood. On the other hand, this pillow.

13. Remote Self-Control

The path of power must be traced.

12. Schrodinger’s Sleep

I am both “up” and “not up” until an outside observer makes their presence known.

11. Aquaman Syndrome

I know you can see me…I know you can feel me.

10. The Block Walk

The stakes have never been higher.

9. The Drowsy Dilemma

Mustn’t let my body know that it’s awake.

8. Borrowed Time

I win this round, clock!

7. Music Appreciation Theory

Gotta focus on what matters.

6. Untethering Bliss

I am held back no longer.

5. Daylight Losing Time

Cause it’s nine in the afternoon
Your eyes are the size of the moon

4. Deja Viewed

What is the nature of truth?

3. Deep Cover

There are secrets upon secrets, lies upon lies.

2. Hot Pocket Tenancies

Gotta keep everything under wraps.

1. Blue Collar Gangsta Syndrome

It just feels so good.

If you find yourself suffering from any of these conditions, don’t consult a physician, they’ve got better things to do. You’re fine. Go look at some more memes.

What’s a weirdly relatable compulsion you have?

Tell us about it in the comments.