It happens to the best of us; you’re scrolling your feed, surfing around your webzones of choice, opening the same three apps over and over, and then you see it – a tweet that absolutely stops you in your tracks.
“Who comes up with this?” you think to yourself, “What miracle of man has such a marvel made possible?” Then you spread the gospel of that tweet, retweeting it, screenshotting it, tagging friends, sticking it in the group chat, doing whatever you possibly can to ensure that others also understand how great this tiny bit of internet is.
There is a celebration, the moment passes, you see another wonderful tweet, and the cycle begins anew.
There are worse ways to spend your time. In celebration of the kind of joy that comes from that phenomenon, here are 14 tweets that made us stop and take notice recently.
14. Everyone’s a critic
This applesauce is so chunky, a snake is tempting me to eat it.
https://twitter.com/HollyGoNightly1/status/1235573091817816066
13. Next stop: nowhere
Your mom sounds absolutely brutal.
https://twitter.com/vidalwuu/status/1237064605396094977
12. I want a new drug
I, too, often get sidetracked by pizza while trying to do my job.
https://twitter.com/kyyylieeeee/status/1235748361191358465
11. How dare you
I would really rather not get what I paid for.
me after hearing someone cough on my $8 round trip flight to italy pic.twitter.com/5Fumi7fWvm
— dij (@DijahSB) March 6, 2020
10. High steaks
Ah yes, a warrior’s death.
https://twitter.com/PoodleSnarf/status/1236402345778352128
9. The 11th commandment
Don’t forget to ask them 90 times a day if they are, in fact, a good dog.
I'm pretty sure if you see your dog do a stretch and you dont say "oh big stretch!" then you're going to hell
— Gbay99 (@Gbay99) January 21, 2020
8. Corporate mascots
Help us, doggo. You’re our only hope.
the human has been working from home the last couple days. and every so often. they let me participate in the video calls. all the other humans cheer when they see me. i am the only thing holding their company together
— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) March 10, 2020
7. Best kept secret
Gawd, stop ruining EVERYTHING.
https://twitter.com/CinnabonMonster/status/1238559428636561408
6. Chill hard
Time to whine and dine.
Just woke up from nap two and poured my fifth glass of wine; I ain't fuckin around today.
— Bat Shit Crazy (@BatBatshitcrazy) March 14, 2020
5. Wastin’ away in Margaritaville
It’s like we’re living in some kind of reverse prohibition.
https://twitter.com/ryanbrooks/status/1240416090611646466
4. Dressing up
Dude, that’s like 25,000 islands.
any recipe recommendations for 25 bottles of thousand island? asking for this man at kroger who will haunt my dreams forever pic.twitter.com/5ybEgzCkdL
— maryam (@mareeeeyum) March 13, 2020
3. Booty calls
It’s my number 2 asset.
https://twitter.com/Freak0nIine/status/1240071354692431872
2. Cat-astophe
“Unidentifiable Viscera” is my new band name.
Husband: why's the bathroom door open
Me: the cats like it
Him: why're blankets everywhere
Me: the cats like it
Him: why's the kitchen filled with unidentifiable viscera
Me: the cats like it
Him: why're the arcane symbols carved into the wall weeping blood?
Me: the cats like it— Elle Has Cats (and ADHD) (@ellle_em) February 9, 2019
1. A Game of Nopes
Now GET BACK TO WRITING, George. SURELY YOU HAVE THE TIME.
Still better than season 8.
— acash0902 (@acash0902) March 18, 2020
You’re probably itching to start sharing some of those, so get to it. Don’t forget to follow the funny peoples in this list for more quality internets!
Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter right now?
Tell us in the comments.