Trying new things is one of the most fun things about being a human – and one of the better things about being an adult is being able to decide, with 100% certainty, that you will never do that thing again.
Which is exactly what these 15 people said after they tried a new thing and said “one and done.”
15. No flavor, just pain.
The Four Horseman burger from Chunkys in San Antonio, TX. It was featured in Man vs Food. The worst decision I’ve ever made.
It was so hot that the first bite gave me instant hiccups and tears started streaming. I couldn’t breathe. I took another bite because I’m a glutton for punishment. I quit and they gave me lukewarm milk.
I paid $25 for a burger I took two bites from. The rest of my day was spent in the fetal position sweating profusely. A few hours later Just when I thought it was over I threw up and it brought the taste and pain back.
14. “Got stuck.” *wink*
Well as a young child my p*nis got stuck in a toy train set.
I like to thing that as an adult, that’s something I won’t repeat.
13. You know you’re going to do it again.
Trying to reason with someone who disagrees with you on the internet.
12. Why on earth…
Shaving my p*bes with an old-school straight razor.
Dry.
11. Do not attempt this at home. Or anywhere.
First semester of college my friends and I joked about the idea of taking a stimulant, opiate, and hallucinogen at the same time and named it the “Triforce of Overdose”.
Of course this ended up with me actually doing it and having the worst trip ever. Didn’t feel the same for a week after.
10. The “final burn.”
I ate a ghost chili pepper once, for $20. The pain was so intense I wanted to knock myself unconscious.
That night I threw up in the shower, where it burned all over again. The next day was the final burn: the worst diarrhea I’ve ever had.
All of this for $20. Never again.
9. That paints quite the image.
Shaving my chest. I’m overweight, so I looked like a big baby. The worst part was when the hairs started growing back, they would hook into my T shirt. It felt like my shirt was velcro-ed onto my chest and every move I made felt like the velcro was being pulled off. Awful.
8. Let someone else torture you.
Oh God, home Brazilian waxing. That is NOT something you do yourself. I was literally black and blue for a week.
7. Why would anyone do this though?
My god, just remembered.
23 years ago I was 17. Really into getting high and trolling the library for ways to do that (we didn’t have the internet).
Me and a buddy ate 2 packets of nutmeg each. The taste I would never go through again, it was disgusting.
Nothing happened for about 4 hours, then it kicked in and stayed for a whole day. It really is just feeling like a zombie but not caring. Then 3 days of suicidal lethargy. That f*cked us up.
6. Cheap any kind of booze, I suspect.
Cheap brandy.
I’ve had no shortage of bad bottom shelf experiences, and I don’t kid myself that I won’t have plenty more on my budget, but I’ve never experienced anything quite as foul as that $1.50 50 mL bottle of Voldemort’s vomit before. Its haunting, lingering taste remained with me for days through countless teeth brushings and mouth rinses.
If you can’t afford quality brandy, don’t leave with brandy. Ever.
5. Just back away slowly.
Erguotou (Chinese sorghum spirit.)
When booze is 56% alcohol and costs 50 cents a bottle, one should move the f*ck away.
4. Gooey and food in the same sentence is a nope.
I ate deep fried tarantula once. Was just awful.
Yes it was in Cambodia. Tried it at a roadside bus stop, the woman’s method of advertising was having a large live tarantula alongside the cooked ones, and I just spur of the moment thought why not (there is a photo of the spider on my arm somewhere which I can try to dig out).
The legs were crunchy and a not entirely pleasant but not too unpleasant either.
The body itself was the worst part crunchy on the outside and just a weird gooey texture on the inside and the tastes were just weird as well.
3. Just don’t breathe.
I tried the cinnamon challenge.
Don’t try the cinnamon challenge.
2. Not even once.
Meth. I just don’t get the high. In college I did a lot of cocaine and once at a party with townies (of course) they busted out these tiny little lines and asked if I wanted a bump. I thought the host was just being conservative until the second after I took it and got the drip. f*cking nasty. Fast forward 48 hours and I’m still awake with no end in sight and feel like an electric eel stuck in a lawnmower engine. That sh^t was nasty, plain and simple.
1. This is just moronic.
When I was in high school, 2003-2007, the debate regarding “enhanced interrogation” and torture was at its peak. the US was torturing “non-enemy combatants” at Guantanamo bay every single day. I wanted to write a paper on the atrocities, but I felt like I couldn’t really speak to the horrors of waterboarding and other torture methods unless I’d experienced them.
So I waterboarded myself. Being a bit of a bitch, I wasn’t very successful. So I had a friend help me.
I can honestly say I will never volunteer to be waterboarded again.
I’ve never had any reactions as strong as these, I don’t think!
What about you? What’s your “one and done” experience? Share it with us in the comments!