Communication is hard. What are we humans supposed to do, speak honestly with each other and just be clear about our wants and needs?
No time for that. Better to leave our unspoken yearnings in the repository of Reddit and hope they wash ashore.
Here’s what we guys are just trying to say, yanno?
1. Compliments
That sometimes a hug or nice compliment can mean a lot. We can ride that wave for quite a while
– zakvandyk
2. Catching hints
If you’re throwing signals at a guy, and he’s not catching them, it might not be because he’s so dense he doesn’t notice them. It might be that he does see them, but his self-esteem is so low his internal dialog talks him out of believing you are interested in him in a romantic or sexual context.
Throwing more obvious signals doesn’t overcome that. If knowing his self-esteem is that low isn’t enough for you to lose interest, be direct. That doesn’t mean ask him if he wants to “have coffee” or “get a drink” with you, as either of those leave wiggle room for misinterpretation. Ask him out on a date (specifically say “date”), so there is no mistaking your intention.
The worst thing likely to happen is that he’ll say no. Which does sting, but not like spending a month throwing hints he never responds to.
– capt-yossarius
3. Expressions
That every expression that crosses our face, does not relate to you.
Some of us have a lot going on between the ears and we’re trying to make sense of it.
– Loud_Hyena
4. The hard times
Sometimes men just don’t get hard.
It’s not you. It’s many things, from lifestyle and diet to stress and anxiety. And just getting older.
Please try not to take it as a sign of lack of attraction or affection. Sometimes it just happens.
– RegrettingTheHorns
5. Communication
if you don’t tell us you want something we honest to god won’t know…
case and point, my Ex was sat at home and i was going to the local shop
“hey, do you want anything from the shop?”
“no, i’m good”
she got mad because i didn’t buy her anything….
– Empty-Refrigerator
6. A good silence
I am perfectly happy sitting in silence/playing video games for a few hours at a time on a weekend morning/night and it doesn’t mean I’m mad at/ignoring you/don’t want to spend time together.
Ya boy is just trying to chill
– bbetsill
7. Support
We need just as much support as you do, it’s always a shock when a guys kills himself until you look back at all the subtle cries for help.
We’re screaming on the inside and we need someone to let us know it’s okay.
– fosterdylan
8. Hurt
All the hurtful things they say and do don’t just magically disappear from men’s memory.
We have feelings too; and s**tting on a man for being honest with feelings as not being manly is not only cruel but also highly ironic considering there’s a constant yearning for men with emotion.
– TheGhostofYourPast
9. Our minds just wander
If I’m laying in bed with someone, just enjoying the moment together, I should be able to just enjoy the moment and let my mind drift to wherever it’s going.
If you want to talk about the future of the relationship or something, that’s great and we can do that if you start that conversation, but if you ask me out of the blue what I’m thinking about, and I say Bolbi’s “Slap slap slap” song from Jimmy Neutron, then you shouldn’t get mad at me just because it’s not the thing they wanted me to be thinking about!
Just tell me you want to talk about the relationship and we can do that!
– SolarisIX
10. Refractory periods
That after a man ejaculates, there is a period that they lose their sex drive and they literally can’t get an erection.
This can be anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours.
– AlphaNepali
11. Personhood
We are people too. We have the same feelings, fears and dreams as you do. Our way of expressing ourselves may be different than yours but we still experience the same range of feelings that you do.
Please don’t treat us as something less than yourself. We feel just as much as you do and we express it differently.
– Hattkake
12. Oh, nothing
We can really, honestly, not think about anything.
We’re not plotting, analyzing, or mentally calculating arguments.
A man is totally capable of just blankly staring at a horizon with not a single thought in his head.
– shaidyn
13. Male friendships
That when 2 guys talk to each other, they don’t talk about life, hobbies, kids, work, etc.
We just talk, and we don’t remember what we talk after it.
– angelol0810
14. Emotional priorities
Our feelings are just as valid as yours, and shouldn’t be held against us.
My fiancée and I are in the process of planning our wedding, and she consistently gets irritated with me because I don’t get as excited as she does. I’m sorry, I do want to marry you and I am excited, but I find it really f**king hard to jump up and down about picking out flowers and centerpieces.
Just because you have been planning your Disney wedding since you were a young girl doesn’t mean dudes do the same, and getting p**sy with me because I am not mirroring your emotions exactly is really not cool, and not healthy for both of our mental health and the relationship.
– pjr032
15. This one specific guy…
When we went on that date and I kept you warm on that bench and you rested your head on my shoulders.
And afterwards we kissed and said goodbye…I still wasn’t entirely sure you were into me and I’ve been thinking about how dumb I am for the last couple of days.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
– Rod_Lightning
Phew. That was tough to get out there.
What do you wish people understood about you?
Tell us in the comments.