Growing up usually means finding more and more points of contention and disagreement with your own family, which can be difficult. But what about when you add your partner’s family into the mix?
And what about when they’re just…the worst?
Buckle up, because Reddit has got some stories.
1. The naked truth.
My first girlfriend when I was 20 was a Character but her family was on another level.
First time I met her aunt she came to the door in (very sheer, at that) bra and panties and then hung out with us like that for a couple of hours. Never put any clothes on. Nobody else seemed bothered by this.
I also once saw her aunt and uncle, naked, in her back yard, basically screwing by the pool while my gfs mom snapped photos.
I could go on but I think this is enough information to convey how crazy these people were.
– mistersprinkles1983
2. No boundaries.
Yes – my first wife. Her parents had no concept of boundaries.
Her older brother was in and out of rehab all the time.
Her sister turned tricks to pay for drugs.
We foolishly thought that we’d be able to keep them at arm’s length.
But she felt guilty and let them pull her back into their dysfunctional f*cked up lives.
After a while I couldn’t take it anymore and we split. Fortunately we had no children.
– Pierrepaul1969
3. Cartoonishly bad.
I’m on the other side of this question. My family are worthless piles of crap who would diss the pope for attention. I mean, there is something seriously wrong with them and I have no idea why I wasn’t infected.
Long story short, brought a girl home I was dating and it went exactly as I thought it would.
First thing out of my step dad’s mouth? “Doesn’t he (pointing at me) have a tiny d*ck!? You should come over here and sit with me.” It was like an old school cartoon…
Could have sworn I saw dust kick up with how fast she took off out of there.
– DiabeticDisfunction
4. Mommy dearest.
I dated a guy for just shy of 4 years, but ended up ending it because his mother REFUSED to let us have a future together.
His mother was basically his owner. She told him where he was allowed to go, what he could spend his own money on, who he was allowed to see. The dude was 32 when we started dating, BTW.
I was his “rebel phase”. He managed to carve out 4 hours a day, once a week, to see me (and always at my house). He insisted, every week for almost four years, to get pizza delivered, and always got a separate pizza to take home for his mum. The guy despised pizza, and would force down half a slice, but his mum wanted it, so that’s what we had.
I met his mother once, about a year in. He invited maybe 8 people round for a D&D night, and he tried to sneak me past her. I ended up bumping into her later in the night and introduced myself. I went to shake her hand and just she stared at it, grunted in disgust, and left the room.
Cliche as it sounds, I really did think he was my soulmate, so I put up with it. We’d talk on the phone and Skype every day, text constantly, and I guess I’d convinced myself that things would get better.
The final straw was when I ended up in hospital. I called him in pain, and asked him to come down as I was really scared. And he said he couldn’t, he needed to take his mum to her bridge club.
Less of a crazy story, more of a sad one I guess lol
– CrazySnekGirl
5. The cult.
Ex’s mom heavily recruited me to join her cult where you bow down (literally prostrate like head to the floor kind of thing) to a “guru” and donate $$ money monthly to fund this guru’s lavish lifestyle.
Even my ex knew she was nuts, but wasn’t willing to stand up to her.
Ultimately it just became too much of a problem (couldn’t hang out at their house, arguments over not standing up to her) that I broke it off, and thank goodness.
– blueberrisorbet
6. The money-chasers.
Family wasn’t nuts, but their actions were 90% of the reason for the breakup.
I was a high achiever in high school/college. I was at a top 20 university majoring in STEM and was one of the best in my class. Everyone (including my girlfriend and her parents) thought I was going to get some super high paying job because of my major. I really wanted to be a public school teacher though (my dream has always been to run a school one day).
When I told my girlfriend, there were a lot of tears. Her parents fully expected for her to become a stay-at-home mom. They acted like I was throwing my life away. Her Dad got me one-on-one and told me I could never propose until I was “financially stable” even though I had been working for two years, paying for everything for both me and my gf, no debt, and still saving $1000 a month.
When my gf talked about spending an extra semester in grad school, her mom said openly “We’re not a bank, we can’t always support you, and bagelfish2 obviously can’t either.” There were also a lot of texts from mom to gf about “rose colored glasses. He makes you happy now, but when push comes to shove he won’t be able to be there for you.”
For years after making the decision her parents would ask me “Oh so when are you going to get a real job?” or “When are you headed back for grad school?” (that one was especially silly, I already had a masters degree).
It got to the point that I started applying to jobs in my STEM field. I actually had two offers that would over double my salary. Ultimately I decided I’d rather keep doing what I loved than be with someone I loved.
Recently was told by a mutual friend that mom said “Thank god, ex and bagelfish2 broke up. He had such potential but just no work ethic.”
– bagelfish2
7. Race relations.
So I was dating someone whose parents had super strict rules about “allowable partners”. She was of vietnamese descent, and was only allowed to date Japanese, Korean, or white guys. ( her dad straight up said he knew how bad vietnamese men were as he was one…)Specifically those three if they were involved with business, accounting, law, or medicine.
I was tolerated since I was in the military at the time. However, her oldest brother (lawyer) married his long time(white) girlfriend(nurse). Not only did they disinherit him for this, but her 2nd oldest brother(doctor) was essentially shunned out of the family for supporting them. Her final older brother, who was getting his masters degree at the time, was basically trying to lay low, and not p*ss off anyone.
Suffice to say, she was under alot of pressure, as again, while they didn’t particularly like me, her parents also weren’t against us dating. Combined with how close she was to her older brothers, and her parents expectations for her to get a good corporate job, I realized our relationship was causing her to much stress and anxiety.
I’m still in touch with her, and some of the family drama has subsided, but I still kinda regret how it all ended
– shiningwolf88
8. Too close.
His parents were divorced and he mainly stayed with his mom (probably because she let him slack off).
We would have pretty much the same arguments about our relationship that could get quite heated and wouldn’t ever be resolved.
I would come over to his house and while he was in the other room, his mom would come up to me and rant over very personal things I had told him, telling me that I need to pick my battles and I need to do better for her child. I thought it was a really strange overstepping of boundaries, especially because he told her things that I would tell him in confidence.
He had some serious mommy issues. And she would talk about herself in the third person calling herself “mommy”, like “mommy wants you to vacuum your room today” so all around weird.
Break up wasn’t totally over the family but when considering the future it was a factor lol. Dad was cool tho!
– pulitzerprizedhog
9. Just weird.
An ex girlfriends family was living under an assumed last name. She had a kid sister who was about 10 if I remember correctly.
The mom and step dad would not enroll her in school, public or private and she was forced to sleep in their room at night.
I got a really bad vibe about the whole family and cut ties. Money was a constant problem and no-one seemed to have jobs.
I never looked back.
– Affectionate_Row8434
10. Deadly sins.
My ex’s parents are strict Christians. So strict that the women wear only skirts, their hair in a braid, no makeup, no tattoos, no skin in general, no piercings, no jewelry.
We were in his room and were just going to get something when his mother rushed in. She did not know that her son has a partner, saw me, looked at my clothes (maxi skirt + a fingertip belly was visible) yelled at him in russian. We quickly got out and I went home. His mother had (however) found out the phone number of my mother and complained about me. I was a wh*re who drive her son into sins.
Funny, since he had already been cheating on me for about 2 months.
– idontknowokayhelp
11. No defense.
A guy I really thought would work out had extremely racist parents. His dad would call me black wh*re and worthless under his breath constantly.
Although he never completely defended them he often downplayed the seriousness, which I understood because it’s your parents… I get it.
But it got to the point where dealing with his parent’s verbal abuse was mentally exhausting and made thinking of a future and raising a family with them around horrifying so I had to let that one go..
– EmmyTheSweet
12. Sense of relief.
I actually had the opposite happen to me. I was in this relationship where my girlfriend was cool most of the time but would often flip out after some perceived disrespect. She would always be apologetic later but towards the end I felt like I was walking on eggshells.
Her family though was amazing. Unlike mine I looked forward to visiting with them. Her dad and I would shoot pool every week and her siblings were always inviting us to some cool activity.
Then one day they invited us to play some mini golf and my girlfriend didn’t want to go. I was relieved and realized that the main reason I was still with her was because her family was so awesome. We broke up and I kept in touch with them a bit, but I do miss hanging out with the coolest group of people I ever met.
– CarefulInterview
13. Little you can do.
Partially. It was more like I broke off my friendship with my best friend growing up because she gave in to the pressure of her nutty family and gradually turned out nasty as well. There’s very little you can do from outside. I didn’t even realise how completely f*cked that family was until her mother died, unexpectedly, at 44, and the deadbeat father and entitled firstborn son turned to my 17yo friend to be their cook, nurse, maid, and cash cow.
I tried to help her get out of there but she wouldn’t listen. She closed off, it was like watching someone being immersed in a cult. Eventually, she turned against me, last interaction we had was her going off at me how DARED I have a baby when she’s infertile.
Lost cause.
BTW she wasn’t infertile, just a condition that she was able to treat, from what I know she’s on kid no.5 and counting.
– cototudelam
14. A huge mess.
Yes, my husband’s family was seriously dysfunctional. As was mine.
We lived pretty boring lives working at a hospital and going to school. Just a grind.
His brother was hooked on coke, and carried a gun everywhere. He showed up at the psych unit where we both worked once announcing “we are all going to the strip club, because I know the man in charge” ( my husband) and got the patients on the unit pretty escalated. We both got a write up and had never been written up. So we made a plan to get away from his family for our safety as he was unpredictable.
His sister was on multiple dating sites looking for a sugar daddy for her kids and was always fighting with someone as she was strung out & hyped up on amphetamines.
The Dad was an alcoholic who took cabs several times a day to the gas station to buy wine. Yes, you heard that correctly.
His Dad was also dating a hooker when we met and accused us of being pregnant when we were going to get married and told him to flush your kid: We were not pregnant but I had enough.
My husband was the adult they all called multiple times a day as their personal life coach after the Mom died.
They fought like cats. We moved 2.5 hours away after the Moms estate was settled and moved back in together once they were no longer interfering in our day to day lives.
It tore him apart each and every time. Sometimes the only safe way to love is from a safe distance.
– Doesnotcarrotall
15. The devout atheists.
I dated a young woman who came from a family of extremely devout atheists. Yes, devout atheists.
Their entire thing was telling everyone about their atheism, how stupid all religious people were – and how logic and reason were the sole measure we should be judged by. Simultaneously, they were also afraid of cell phone radiation, insisted that the paleo diet was the only real way to eat, didn’t believe in personal privacy, didn’t believe showering every day was necessary and also saw it as their place to judge everyone who didn’t conform to their very narrow lifestyle choices.
Like, I’m an atheist- but those people were f*cking crazy. I got sick of the criticisms and having to debunk the asinine beliefs they were instilling in their daughter and left.
– Mortarion91
What a list of nightmares. Bless anyone who’s dealing with that right now.
Have you experienced this kind of thing?
Tell us about it in the comments.