If you feel like you’re barely keeping things together and just making it all up as you go along, I’ll let you in on a little secret: literally all of us are doing that. Anyone who thinks they’ve got it all together is probably horribly wrong and insufferable to be around. The true human experience is a constant string of “Wait, what?” and it’s a beautiful thing to be celebrated.
Here are fifteen people on Twitter who are just doing their dang best.
15. Indecent proposal
What are friends for?
https://twitter.com/goodgaljenjen/status/1058600806780329984
14. Delayed response
Better just keep everything in boxes for the next move.
Please excuse the mess, we just moved in 2 years ago
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) June 21, 2019
13. Personal effects
If that’s your biggest worry you’re living on easy street.
If I die, I hope my best friend deletes my browser history.
Just so nobody knows that I was looking up how to use “effect” and “affect” properly in a sentence.
— Dayna Pereira (@itsdaynapereira) August 5, 2020
12. Down on the ranch
This is what’s known as a “Midwestern Baptism.”
So a couple days ago, one of my coworkers accidentally let 22 quarts of ranch dressing slip out of her hand… pic.twitter.com/cMDwUAqfOZ
— G (@BorboaGrant) March 18, 2019
11. No service
What would you say is your shirt situation?
was so proud of myself for remembering my mask I forgot my entire shoes. now I’m in the grocery parking lot like ok what now Biblo
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) August 5, 2020
10. Curriculum vittles
Clearly I was trying to tell you that I’m simple and delicious.
Applied for a job and got this email back pic.twitter.com/6zI3cBnTLD
— hev (@Heathernab) February 6, 2015
9. Morning buzz
Sharing is caring, Meg.
Turns out the cream I’ve been putting in my coffee each morning that I brought home from Africa has an alcohol content of 17% .. no wonder I’ve been having such great days lately
— meg (@mmmobrie) June 6, 2018
8. Too chicken?
It’s in the Lord’s hands now.
I trust Chick-fil-A so much that I don’t even check my bag and if they get my order wrong I just assume they know what’s best for me.
— HASH DADDY (@sirHASHington) June 8, 2018
7. Pronunciation anxiety
You will now say this word out loud in four different ways and none of them will sound right.
https://twitter.com/yonewt/status/1291043835078877184
6. Have your fill
“I’ll take care of this tomorrow” is the greatest lie we ever tell ourselves.
https://twitter.com/casey_mcquiston/status/975911169146937346
5. Can’t-aloupe
I think your garden may be mutating?
ok do not judge me, the words most disorganized gardener: wtf am I growing here ? is this a cantaloupe? I did not plant cantaloupe. help pic.twitter.com/fcTUdcXO9d
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) August 1, 2020
4. Grand theft auto
This is too much for me to handle.
Who among us hasn't been locked out of a car in a parking lot, repeatedly yanked on the door handle and started kicking the door in anger until the real owner of the vehicle shows up?
— Melanie Gibson (@ImMelanieGibson) August 5, 2020
3. The domino effect
Frankly it’s none of your business, financial institution.
My bank called me: "sir did you go to dominos at midnight three days in a row in Florida?"
Me:….yah
Bank:*long pause* "alright then"— Robot Hater (@honzogonzo) July 2, 2018
2. A najor problen
Isn’t technology wonderful?
https://twitter.com/ColinChambers44/status/994294476662337537
1. Cheetos never prosper
My will is about as strong as my diet.
Me putting my foot down and telling my friends I’m not drinking tonight pic.twitter.com/mTyPqnO3te
— FRANZ🏴☠️ (@franzakeem) June 4, 2018
Let it be known that while writing this article I accidentally skipped half of it and had to go back because I was confused at how I had somehow forgotten to count. We really are just a bunch of hot messes.
What’s been your biggest “hot mess” moment lately?
Tell us in the comments.