I don’t know if you’ve heard, but women are stinking hilarious. Whether they’re comedians onstage, your friend Becky after a few drinks, or random women on the internet, I’m here to tell you that they can crack a joke.
And these 18 women are way funnier than I’ll ever be – and than you might be, too!
So sit back, relax, don’t judge your own tweeting too harshly… and get ready to laugh your a** off!
18. Oh man that’s some classic dad.
My dads phone is old pic.twitter.com/GFMk75croZ
— Bridey Lee Elliott (@brideylee) June 27, 2019
17. Take THAT.
https://twitter.com/spicy_emma/status/1142677046184701952?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1142677046184701952&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwokesloth.com%2Ffunniest-tweets-from-women-this-week-062819%2Fmasha%2F
16. I mean… would you say no to meat nutella? Because I wouldn’t.
I most certainly did NOT have meat nutella pic.twitter.com/K1uJqUCuJV
— Sam Corbin (@ahoysamantha) June 28, 2019
15. Priceless memories right from the start.
https://twitter.com/jayluuuuh/status/1142163312676876289?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1142163312676876289&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwokesloth.com%2Ffunniest-tweets-from-women-this-week-062819%2Fmasha%2F
14. And they’ve seen all of yours.
Four weeks into a job, you’ve seen everybody’s shirts
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) June 27, 2019
13. I mean, that’s ONE way to do it.
My dads phone is old pic.twitter.com/GFMk75croZ
— Bridey Lee Elliott (@brideylee) June 27, 2019
12. Or hear any sound at 2am, really.
When you have cats and hear crunching at 2am pic.twitter.com/GlljryKyLE
— 🐎⭐️✨️✨️ (@horsemoondust) June 25, 2019
11. The drama, it slays.
Me every morning before work. pic.twitter.com/uNa5phXOYb
— GECH. (@H_Onyinye_) June 27, 2019
10. Sure, it smells, but have you seen it naked?
me explaining to my friends why i’m still talking to the guy they all hate pic.twitter.com/dfR0jpC04V
— b (@doyalikebaileys) June 23, 2019
9. It is the great mystery of our age.
https://twitter.com/whatmaddness/status/1143697965162356737?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1143697965162356737&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwokesloth.com%2Ffunniest-tweets-from-women-this-week-062819%2Fmasha%2F
8. You might need to have a chat about screen time.
my brother started doing a ribbon dance and i looked down at the ipad and was shook lmao pic.twitter.com/JsoO1Ckiop
— tori crosby (@victoriacrosby_) June 24, 2019
7. It’s the circle of life?
– Be pregnant
– Have a child
– Become a fancy fuck pic.twitter.com/VjIEhZmtnx— batkaren (@batkaren) June 28, 2019
6. That poor boy, lolololol.
thinking about the time a boy I was hooking up with stopped mid-hook up to ask me if I was wearing men’s deodorant. I was. it was Old Spice.
— jen merritt!!! (@jennifermerr) June 27, 2019
5. We do what we have to when swimming is involved.
All throughout middle school I pretended to like horses so my rich friend Abi would let me use her pool. Do I regret it? No. Did I enjoy the pool? Uh does a newborn Clydesdale weigh up to 180 pounds? Yes, yes it does.
— sarah schauer 🦂 (@sarahschauer) June 27, 2019
4. We just do what we’re told.
"Street! Street! Street!" pic.twitter.com/1Yd4G0Uy9T
— Holly Brockwell (@holly) June 24, 2019
3. It’s just impossible for moms to have a time when they’re not tired.
Moms love asking questions while yawning
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) June 23, 2019
2. For some reason this gave me the heebie jeebies.
✨fresh set 💅🏻✨ pic.twitter.com/DptTWGl0Uc
— bees? (@g0gurtz) June 23, 2019
1. This whole scenario takes balls.
https://twitter.com/bloodbankrobber/status/1143995146721202182?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1143995146721202182&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwokesloth.com%2Ffunniest-tweets-from-women-this-week-062819%2Fmasha%2F
I hope I can come up with something half this hilarious to tweet just once in my life! And if I don’t, well, I can always peruse the lists here and laugh instead.
What’s your favorite one-liner from a female comedian? Share it with us in the comments!