Listen, relationships end for all kinds of reasons, and except in very rare circumstances, it’s one person who does the dumping.

That said, most of us try not to dump people for absolutely stupid reasons – or at least, if we have to make something up we try to make it as nice and unassuming as possible.

These 31 people were dating folks who absolutely couldn’t be bothered, though, and dumped them for some of the dumbest reasons known to man.

31. I guess it depends on what sort of movies you watch.

“I love you so much and want to spend the rest of my life with you.

We have to break up, if it’s really meant to be then we will end up together again like they do in the movies.”

30. Definitely count your lucky stars there.

I was “too clingy”

She got mad every time I hung out with anyone that wasn’t her.

29. A reason for that.

“I don’t feel a spark of anything when we kiss anymore”

At that time I got hit in the mouth with a bat and couldn’t kiss her for the past month.

If you didn’t want to be with me just say it or at least come up with a better lie to dump me over

28. I’m guessing that probably didn’t happen.

One of my exes dumped me saying that he wanted to “be like paul” from the bible…

27. Keep it classy.

I (a 14 year old) wouldn’t take her (a 14 year old) virginity in a Burger King bathroom.

Welcome to Ireland.

26. That’s called getting what you deserve.

I bought my GF one of the World of Warcraft expansion packs for her birthday. She started playing again — like she really got into it — and I hardly saw her. She’d play all night and would come to bed as I was getting up.

To be clear, that made me want to dump her. But, what ended up happening was she started playing with her ex and it apparently rekindled their feelings for each other, because she dumped me after a couple of weeks of this sh^t and got back with him. But, by that time he had moved away, so their relationship was entirely limited to playing questing or some sh^t. And, then they broke up again after like a month of this. At the time it was horrible, but now I can’t help but laugh.

TL;DR ex dumped me for a Mage.

25. The other reasons are insignificant.

I got dumped because the headlights on my car didn’t come on automatically when I started my car.

I’m assuming he had other reasons, but this is what I was told. And I love laughing at it!

24. I’m not sure I’m buying this one.

Made a girl smile too much.

She had braces and it cut up the inside of her mouth.

23. There are adults, supposedly.

We went to rival colleges and I had graduated from the “bad” one.

Yep.

22. This is definitely a Seinfeld moment.

My boyfriend broke up with me because he was moving away to go to puppet school.

21. Wow. That’s a very committed cat person.

My ex’s cat was named “Ben”. The girl I was dating’s cat was named “Bundles”.

One day, I called “Bundles”, “Ben”. She asked me what I just called her cat.

I thought about it, and then remembered that was my ex’s cat’s name.

I laughed and told her and she was super unimpressed.

Broke up with me the next day.

20. This is kind of a compliment.

Shared this before here, but this has and will always take the cake for me.

College GF’s Dad won 1 million dollars in the state lottery over winter break.

Broke up with me over the phone, telling me “now that I’m rich, I can’t afford to date regular people like you.

That’s really the only thing wrong, you’re just regular.”

19. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

After going out with this guy for 6 months I asked him if we were dating and he immediately ghosted me.

18. Did he, though?

The girl told me she thought this boy who she had a crush on for a long time was gonna ask her out.

She said this to me. Her then bf.

17. There is definitely more to this story and I am here for it.

She thought I killed her horse (it wasn’t actually her horse) with voodoo (it hung itself) because I was jealous (it was a horse.)

16. Giving up tuna would be really hard, tbh.

“We have to break up. I mean, we can’t even get married… you’re allergic to fish!”

She chose the occasional tuna sandwich over me. I laughed and still tell the story so I guess it’s a win!

15. …how old were you though.

She found out the truck I was driving was owned by my mom.

14. He obviously hasn’t spent much time with actual ladies.

Actually had a guy dump me because I’m a carpenter, and according to him, it’s just not lady like

13. So…was it too late?

I was dating a guy whose parents didn’t like me. It was a long distance relationship, and so we mostly chatted online but also made occasional phone calls. So we were talking on the phone, and at one point I said, “You shouldn’t have to choose between me and your parents…” The conversation continued, we decided to break up. We stayed friends.

Something like 10 years later, we were talking online when the subject of our breakup came up. Turns out he thought I had said, “You should have to choose between me and your parents…” and decided that he wasn’t going to do that. I would never give someone that kind of ultimatum, that would be ridiculous.

It blew my mind that a single misheard word caused us to break up, and we didn’t realize it for 10 years.

12. I think this is a perfectly good reason tbh.

When I was 12 we played spin the bottle and i made a kissy “mwah” sound before we kissed. An hour later she sent her best friend to my soccer game to break up with me.

11. Another misunderstanding!

I was dating a girl in college. After a month or so I told her that I loved hanging out. We were out somewhere and she looked at me funny but smiled and we carried on with the date. Not long after she suddenly has issues meeting up and I eventually hear through a friend of hers she doesn’t think it’ll work out. I decide not to pursue the issue even though I thought things were going great.

Roll on 6 odd years later, bump into each other. Long conversation later it turns out she thought I had said I loved her and she thought it was all too soon and panicked etc. So could of all be averted if we had a conversation about it but nevermind.

10. Wow what have you done to anger God, my friend?

“God told me not to date you. I’m sorry.”

And guess what: this happened TWICE.

(With two different girls)

9. I’m not sure exactly what to make of any of this.

Not dumped, but shut down.

I asked her out and she sort of freaked. “Like…on a date? A date-date?! Oh sh^t…I want to say yes, but I can’t. Every time I’ve dated a guy I liked we ended up hating each other. But I want to, but I can’t. So….I know! You’re my gay friend! I can’t date you, because you’re gay! Awesome! I have a gay friend now! Oh sh^t, I’m late for class! Bye!”.

I was like “What…..what the f**k just happened?”. The other people of our social group were similarly confused.

8. Monster.

I said love you, she got mad I forgot the I.

7. Imagine breaking up over dinosaurs.

Starting dating this girl. She’s like 29 with a Master’s degree, really sweet and cute, so I’m excited about the potential. On our 3rd date we were driving to a late night event at a science museum and she asked what I was most excited about seeing and I said I’ve always enjoyed the dinosaur fossils and she said “…..oh.” and got real quiet.

After 5 seconds of silence I asked if she didn’t like dinosaurs or something and she said “It’s not that. It’s more than….well…..I’m not sure how I feel about dinosaurs.” Which led me to ask “Um…by feel….you mean, you…?” And she said “Well, I’m just not sure if they are real.” (*Beat* I look over quizzically.) She continues “Like, they’re not mentioned in the Bible, so I don’t know if they existed.” I tried to get through the night and to be fair there were some decent jokes. When we walked into the natural sciences wing there was a picture of Darwin on the wall and she said “Hey look, there’s your best friend,” and later we were standing in front of a a skeleton of a raccoon and I said “So just to be clear. Your position on raccoons is….yes….no…….maybe?”

She was a pretty nice girl and we had fun on the first two dates, so I tried to tough it out, but the dinosaur thing just ate at me for days. Like a week later I called her from the office and this was our conversation:

Me: “Look, we gotta talk. I don’t think this is going to work for me.”
(10 seconds of silence)
Her: “……..it’s the dinosaur thing, isn’t it?”
Me: “Yeah. Yeah……it’s the dinosaur thing.”

6. What a psychopath.

“Dumped” might be extreme, but on a first date, girl asked me to go buy her popcorn literally as the movie started, so I did, whispered as I was getting up, “you want butter on that?”.

Brought it back and she says, “Is there butter on this?” I said, “yes, I asked and you said ‘yeah'” and she said, “no, I specifically said, ‘nah'”…

I thought she was joking or something, it was like a Seinfeld bit. So I said, “Well, maybe this just isn’t going to work out.”

And she said, “I think you’re right. Thanks for nothing.”

And f**king left.

But she took my popcorn. She should have thanked me for f**king that.

Uggg.

5. That’s…something.

I wish I still had the text … Long story short. She was mad I DIDN’T grab her ass … In public.. On our first date.

4. No good deed goes unpunished.

Apparently I gave her too much anxiety when I bought her a coffee that one morning and she broke up with me the same week

Edit: I gave her the drink in front of my locker in high school before class started. but I didn’t buy her a coffee it was a hot chocolate. Where I’m from in Canada getting someone a “coffee” can mean just any drink. I got her a hot chocolate cuz she was a picky eater and didn’t like coffee or tea. But I liked her and wanted to surprise her with a warm drink on that cold day.

3. High school boys. Smdh.

Not me but one of my friends who’s a senior in high school got dumped by her boyfriend who she dated for almost 2 years. He dumped her because he didn’t want to go to the school dance. A few days later he texted her to tell her that he wanted to get back together but she declined. He could have just told her that he didn’t want to go and still be her with her or just go to the stupid dance.

2. Talk about bad timing…

“I’m not ready for a relationship”. I thought it was a bad time to bring that up since we were engaged and had been together for almost 2 years.

1. Bamboozled is like the only word for that.

Same, was talking to this girl, I (f) tell her that I’m a Gemini bc she asked me my sign, she then asked me my moon and rising signs which are also geminis, she blocked me on the spot after like 4 months of going out and talking, bamboozled to this day

Y’all. Do not do this! Be kind, for heaven’s sake…unless they deserve it.

You know when they deserve it.

Have you ever been dumped for a totally dumb reason? Tell us what it was in the comments!