7 Things Touchy-Feely People Will Never Understand

Some of us, especially those of us that identify as introverts, have a hard time getting our points across. No, we don’t hate you because we don’t like hugs, and also no, we definitely don’t want to attend that house party. There are some things that touchy-feely people take for granted, like cheek-kisses and public displays of affection, but…well, some of us don’t feel the same way.

These are seven things touchy-feely people will never understand, and the reasons why they’re so endlessly frustrating.

1. Don’t know me? Please, don’t touch me.

Whether we’re complete strangers or established acquaintances, I’d really prefer it if you didn’t touch me. While tapping me on the shoulder or touching my arm sounds like a great way to catch my attention, a simple “pst” or “hey” would do just fine. Or you could, you know, use my name.

2. Hugs are given, not taken.

Through the walk of life, we’re bound to encounter a couple dozen people that identify as “huggers”. Those people, while likely having the best intentions, are the bane of our existence. The awkward grapples and the stiff one-armed embraces aren’t really our thing. Surely, we can work something else out. Like a cool handshake, or a jaunty salute..?

3. PDA? No way.

Whether we’re talking about PDA involving us or happening near us, we’d really rather not get involved. It’s awkward to watch, and more awkward to partake in. Unless it’s a pride festival, wedding, or movie theatre, let’s keep the smooching to a minimum.

4. We’re terrible at cheering people up, and we’re sorry.

Failing tests, rocky breakups, and sad movies are always reasons to feel a little blue — but if you’re looking for consolation, we’re not the person for you. We do care, we promise, we’re just terrible at providing pick-me-ups. Solemn nods, “that’s rough, I’m sorry”, and comforting pats on the shoulder are the best we can offer in most circumstances. Please don’t take it personally; we can hardly cheer ourselves up sometimes.

5. We have feelings!

While we might appear as empty, emotionless shells from time to time, we do have feelings. It’s always funny to make lighthearted jabs at friends, but attacking our lack of tact is a little insensitive. Let’s keep the “ice queen” jokes to a minimum, please.

6. We’re bad at accepting compliments and affection.

Taking a compliment on our shoes or shirt is easy — they’re impersonal and friendly comments. But when deep conversations delve into praise or sincere compliments involving our appearance and character, that’s when things get sticky. We appreciate your kindness, we really do! We’re just bad at receiving attention.

7. Likewise, affection from us is a meaningful gesture.

We don’t say “mushy” things unless we mean them. So, if we come out of our shells to tell you something important, we want you to take it seriously. Chances are, if we hug you or shower you in praise, you’re someone special.