I know this is a bold claim, but aside from like, the first three years of my life, I think I changed more in my twenties than in any other decade.

You’re an “adult,” you’re working your first “real” job, living on your own, dealing with your own problems (most of the time), and you’re sort of figuring out what you want the rest of your life to look like.

Hopefully, you’re also figuring out how to love yourself and to be comfortable in your own skin, because y’all. We need to stop waiting until we’re middle-aged to figure that shizz out.

Here are 8 other things you learn in that strange decade where people assume you’re grown up, but if they could live in your head, they wouldn’t be sure.

8. Be gentle.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7trmpPBh24/

With yourself, but also with others – you’ll learn that you never know what someone else is going through when you bump into them on the street, get into an argument at work, or find yourself in a fender bender.

Realize that, for the most part, people are doing their best. Give them some grace.

7. Things will get really, really bad.

And no, there’s no piece of advice that will help you get through the worst of it – you just have to believe that you will.

6. Plans are good, but so is living in the moment.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7tMi-RI7__/

The best laid plans and all that…it’s fine to make them, but don’t forget to enjoy the day you’re in, too.

5. You’ll find out who your friends are.

And the ones who aren’t? You need to cut them loose and not lose a moment of sleep.

4. Find your way back to books.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7uubLgA0uu/

Chances are, you used to love reading. Books are still waiting to challenge you, sweep you away, make you fall in love, whatever you fancy. Come back.

3. Don’t rush into love.

Or rather, fall in love all you want, but learn to weed the ones who make you giddy from the ones who make you giddy and make you laugh and have your back and allow you to be your best self when they’re around.

It’s not as easy to find, but waiting will save you heartache, and probably money, too.

2. You know what gives you peace.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7ki7xXl3Iv/

And you know that the secret to being happy is to find it as often as you can – the beach, the forest, a hike, a good book, your fuzzy socks, comfort baking, you do it when you get the chance.

1. Work is work.

It doesn’t have to be the whole sum of your contributions to the world – there’s more to life than punching a card and climbing a ladder.

I’m just going to nod and pretend all of these lessons were neatly learned by the time I turned 30.

What did you think of your 20s? Did you learn these things? Different lessons? Let us know in the comments!