You know what’s funny? Making fun of babies.
Why? Because a) they don’t even know what jokes are, b) their feelings can’t get hurt by these jokes and c) they’re powerless to stop us.
So, in the spirit of completely roasting defenseless tots, we give you this epic thread by Twitter user @ARTSHL3Y.
The culprits in question…
WHY BABIES ARE PROBLEMATIC (A THREAD) pic.twitter.com/eCP5lZ0IDy
— pink-haired fre*k (@ARTSHL3Y) May 9, 2019
Can you name just ONE? Think about it…
1) they remain SILENT on so many important issues. name ONE baby who has ever fought for lgbt or poc rights.. yep that’s what i thought you can’t think of ANYTHING
— pink-haired fre*k (@ARTSHL3Y) May 9, 2019
Leeching being the key word there…
2) they are EXTREMELY toxic. they do nothing productive and just leech of the people around them. they are just pathetic freeloaders with a MASSIVE sense of entitlement
— pink-haired fre*k (@ARTSHL3Y) May 9, 2019
Not exactly #MeToo, but…
3) they especially prey on women. women lose sleep, their own BODILY FLUIDS, and sanity all just for these misogynists. how are we still allowing and supporting this??
— pink-haired fre*k (@ARTSHL3Y) May 9, 2019
Why can’t you give us your reasons babies?!
4) they are manipulative. they start crying without warning and offer NO explanation for why. if they weren’t toxic they would explain what they need but instead they want to play the victim and gaslight the people around them
— pink-haired fre*k (@ARTSHL3Y) May 9, 2019
So, basically, cancel all babies. Stat.
follow me to join the anti-baby movement ??
— pink-haired fre*k (@ARTSHL3Y) May 9, 2019
Needless to say, Twitter had some thoughts of their own…
Some were fully in support!
Additionally, they REFUSE to use correct pronouns, instead going for screaming to get people’s attention.
— Sydney Stories (@Sydney_Stories_) May 9, 2019
Because WTF are they doing for the world, huh?
And they’re contributing to global warming!
— m (@masonlwine) May 9, 2019
And TBH, they act creepy AF all the time…
And they STARE for no reason. Can’t mind their business ?
— Luke (@lukeygaga) May 9, 2019
Apparently, even Michael Jordan is in on this…
— joonie’s gf ?? (@heycatrx) May 9, 2019
So it’s official then?
Nobody is going to have any more kids?
Oh, that’s not feasible?
People will keep having children, regardless of this Twitter thread?
Okay, how about toddlers?
Oh, babies turn into toddlers?
Okay, well, I guess babies won this round! But next time…