Owning a pet is a big responsibility, and presumably, one that every adult human takes seriously. Even if a pet is not yours, but is in your care, most people do their very best to ensure no harm comes to the animal, because…it’s a living thing.
This guy, though, found out the hard (almost deadly, for his dog) way that his fiancee wasn’t what you would call responsible at all – and that she also wasn’t the kind of person he wanted to have in his life long term.
He posted the story on a Reddit thread, asking if he was the as$hole and, well…keep reading.
So basically, this guy left his dog because she wanted the dog there for her party, gave her clear instructions on how to keep the dog safe, and then almost lost his dog because she couldn’t be bothered.
Honestly…if this was an isolated incident of poor decision making, maybe he overreacted. Maybe.
But once you consider the fact that he’s noticed her exercising similar bad judgment in the past, yeah. You could never trust her with your pets or your kids or your car or your house, so what’s the point?
FWIW, most Redditors agreed that the guy was not, in fact, an as$hole at all, but someone who had just realized that he should cut his losses now and not later.
1. You know what to do…
She clearly doesn’t mean that much to you, so yeah, leave over this.
I have a cat whom I adore beyond reason and if my current BF accidentally hurt him, I’d be pissed and upset but your dog isn’t dead. If he’s more important than your woman, that relationship is doomed. I’ve been in a relationship where I would have chosen my cat over them. That is not a good relationship.
2. Marriage is doomed…
ESH – and reading through your replies to most people it seems you’ve got a lot of issues with your partners behaviour, and you were possibly looking for a good enough reason in your head to end it.
I hazard a guess that if everything you’ve listed has been getting to you over time, that the marriage would not have lasted long after that.
3. Think of the children…
NTA.
That level of carelessness could lead to death. What would people say if she had done the same thing with a kid around?
It’s pretty obvious how you feel, getting out now seems like a better option than having this fester until the divorce.
4. You had ONE job!
NTA.
You asked her to do one thing. Put the dog away. I saw a comment where you said they kept him out because they wanted to pet him and stuff. This is what makes her TA. She deliberately ignored what you asked of her after she asked for the dog to stay there, and then she neglected to watch the dog or put the dog away later when they started drinking. It’s neglect of an animal.
It’s really pissing me off that everyone is giving off ‘it’s just a dog’ vibes. Like wtf. This wouldn’t of happened if the dog was put away like she was asked. It wasn’t an accident or a mistake because she left the dog out on purpose for entertainment. I think this is a legitimate reason for not marrying her. It’s not like they could get married and be happy and laugh about it in the future like ‘do you remember on you hen party when my dog almost died due to your stupidity? Hahahahahahahaha’
No.
5. No, it wasn’t just an accident!
NTA.
I don’t understand the people saying, “But it’s just an accident!” She went against clear, easy instructions by OP and should have enough common sense to keep that stuff in a safe area in the first place. She also has a history of questionable decisions. What if this was their child in the ER?
OP, block her family and take a break from talking to yours. You don’t have to forgive her just because your dog lived this time. And you don’t have to stay and marry her just because you’ve been together for 4 years. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.
And the ones who still thought he was overreacting?
6. It’s YOUR dog…
YTA.
She messed up by not doing as you said but it wasn’t only on her.
You say she is a careless person and you give a bunch of examples, then isn’t it your job to take care of your dog and not leave it in a dangerous situation with her know her carelessness?
I’ll be honest though, given how you mention other minor things she does/did, it seems to me you were already looking for any reason to bail on the wedding. You were getting cold feet and are using this as an excuse to get out of a years long relationship and marriage commitment.
She made a mistake and had already been crying for hours, as you mention, so she didn’t do it deliberately. I’d even understand if she hadn’t shown remorse at her mistake or something.
There is a reason why all those around you are saying you are over reacting, even your mun and your best friends. I don’t think you are overreacting though, I think you are just using this as an excuse to bail, knowingly or unknowingly, because you have cold feet.
Edit: Thanks for the Gold and Silver
7. Bro… seriously?
YTA as it is a massive over reaction. However, you seem to have bigger issues.
You say you’re not holding on, but you clearly are.
8. You’re bother better off without each other….
YTA. OMG YTA.
It was an accident. The way you speak about her is atrocious.
Please leave her so she can find someone who doesn’t think she’s an idiot.
I don’t know, but I definitely wouldn’t trust them with my dog.