Straight Boy Texts is a hilarious Twitter account that compiles text messages from straight dudes trying to get laid.

And they are comedy gold.

1. Ha!

2. Uprising

3. Nice try

4. Very clever

5. An accident

6. Marriage material

7. Hexted

8. Don’t trip

9. No she doesn’t

10. Good one

11. Ugh

12. Changing speeds

13. That escalated quickly

14. Might have an anger problem

15. A true poet

16. Duck sounds good

17. Psycho?

18. Actually funny

19. Feminist lecture

20. Wow. Classy guy.

Get it together, guys.