The winter months can be hard for people who struggle with depression and other mental illness. The holidays are stressful, the cold weather forces us to stay indoors, the snowy skies are gray and relentless, and it can seem like there’s no end in sight.
Andrew Spade, husband of late fashion designer Kate Spade, seemed to consider that when sending an Instagram message on Christmas Eve.
It’s a happy time of year for many, but when you’re mourning a loss – recent or not – the holidays can be more of a struggle.
Kate, who had battled depression and struggled to overcome her perfectionist nature, took her own life on June 5, 2018. December 24 was her birthday; she would have been 57.
Image Credit: Instagram
Andrew Spade posted an image of the couple’s daughter together, along with a message to be kind to one another and to be aware of friends struggling with “private problems.”
“Some of us are too embarrassed or prideful to admit we have flaws.
Please don’t hide from them.
There is no shame in having flaws.
I have many.
As do some of my best friends, mentors, and idols.
We should take pride in admitting our humanity.
Perfection isn’t the goal – honesty is.”
His wife Kate was highly successful, widely admired, and seemed to have it all. In private, though, she struggled with manic depression that went untreated because she feared it would “tarnish” her name or her brand.
She chose her “happy-go-lucky” brand over her mental health, worrying what people would say or how they might react, and in the end, it cost her her life.
Middle-aged women are at a higher risk for suicide, and research shows a connection between perfectionist personalities and suicidal ideation.
Andrew Spade hopes that by continuing to speak out about his wife’s untimely death, others might check in on friends and family who seem to have it all together. And that those who worry more about their image and their health might get help instead of stiffening their upper lip.
“Please see help if you are feeling helpless or lost.
Ask friends and relatives if they are okay.
This is truly important.
Sometimes they won’t tell you how they are feeling but nudge them to find out.”
Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself.
If you see something, please don’t be afraid to say something – there are people everywhere who are waiting to see you tomorrow.
If you struggle with suicidal thoughts or depression, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-8255.