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People Reveal Their Most Awesomely Bad Pickup Lines

Source: triggeranimal on Reddit

I have a serious question to ask all of you.

Do y’all still use pick up lines? Seriously, are those a real thing used in the real world? Or are they all just jokes?

I mean, these ones are definitely jokes. I think?

I dunno, Reddit. Teach me the ways of love.

1. Drop ’em

You seem to have dropped something there…

Oh its your standards! Can I buy you a drink?

– Smiles_will_help

2. Heatin’ up

Hey girl are you a microwave?

Cause mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

– Birthday-Specialist

3. Stud muffin

Are you looking for a STUD?

Because I already have the STD, all I need is U.

– AGH8

4. Now we’re cookin’

Are you a pan cuz im going to put my meat in you for about 30 seconds

– FlameMane87

5. Call a plumber

There’s an old sewage department saying: If you’ve got a nice drain pipe there’s no reason to hide it

– Swackhammer_

6. Drink it in

Dips fingers in a glass of water and flicks a few drops towards prospective date

“I think we should go back to your place and get you out of these wet clothes”

– cruiserman_80

7. It’s a trip

Hey did I see you on Trip Advisor the other day?

Yeah, I was looking for the best place to eat out

– dangerburns880

8. No butts about it

“You’ve got something on your butt”.

“?”

“My eyes”.

– Khenghis_Ghan

9. Mirror, mirror

“Want to go watch a p**no together on my new flat-screen mirror?”

– kaosi_schain

10. No scrubs

I was out in a work do once.

I saw a girl I knew and jokingly said “you scrub up well”.

It wasn’t the girl I knew at all, but a total stranger.

And we ended up leaving together!

– The-Go-Kid

11. Face the facts

Did you fall from heaven?

Because your face is f**ked up.

– ChrisNEPhilly

12. Nailed it

Is heaven missing an angel?

Cuz you’ve got nice cans.

– gavreaux

13. Money, honey

If your bank balance was the same as your phone number, how much money would you have?

– T**tysprinkles29

14. D**ks out

Hey girl, are you the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati zoo?

Because I want to drop a kid in you.

– Mythopoeist

15. Look it up

“are you a dictionary?….Cause you got definition.”

– triggeranimal

16. Sweet nothings

“you know what looks good on you?”

“nothing”

– snowflakeshwa

17. Get a leg up

Do you know what my favorite word is? “Legs”, do you want to help me spread the word

– diablo2488

18. Legit leggy

I love the way your legs make an a** of themselves

– Citizen_31415

19. hard and fast

Do you know the difference between a Ferrari and a hard on?… I don’t have a Ferrari

– bionikchkn

20. A catch thiiiiis big

My friend once said

“girl you’re like a prize bass. I don’t know if I should eat you or mount you!”

– Mullet1983

21. Getting colder

Do you know how much a Polar bear weighs?

Enough to break the ice.

– Nuffsaid98

22. The steaks are high

“Da** girl, are you a steak? Cause I’d eat your tenderloin.”

– Lichsenate

23. Indecent proposal

“Would you have s** with a stranger for $10 million?

(Hopefully they say yes).

Well now that we have established you are willing to prostitute yourself, what can I get for $5?”

– Aubear11885

24. Blown away

Did you fart

Cause you blew me away.

– gorillahands2006

25. Morning glory

When picking up a random woman:

“How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled, over easy, or fertilized?”

– Dankman

26. Saving face

Mask mandate pick up lines.

“Hey baby. I wanna share my whole face with you”

– draivaden

27. Stuck on you

Girl, you’re like gorilla glue.

I can’t get you out of my head.

– muerte626

28. When life gives you limes…

How to flirt

1: get a bunch of limes

2: accidentally drop them in front of your crush

3: try several times unsuccessfully to pick them up

4: say “sorry, I’m really bad at pick up limes”

5: success

– pioneerlegend

29. I’m fine

“How are you?”

“Good, but clearly not as fine as you.”

– theJourneyEnds

30. Dead media

Do you like tapes and CDs?

Then let me tape my d**k to your forehead so you can CDs balls

– iDavidC96

31. It’s because I’m so in love

I don’t like sand.

It’s course, rough and irritating.

And it gets everywhere

– Alanitzio

32. It adds up

I’m sin2 theta you’re cos2 theta, together we’re one

I want to be your derivative so I can be tangent to your curves

– Perfect_Pen_1793

33. Do the creep

If I can guess your address will you go out with me?

– bagelport

34. Just breathe

It’s a good thing I brought my inhaler cuz you got that a**, ma.

– No_Disk3484

35. They’re everywhere

“I’m calling you about your cars extended warranty, we’d like to know if you could sit down with a representative this Friday afternoon at ___(Insert Restaurant here) at _o’clock. Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day.”

– high-im-stupid

Seriously like…you’re not really using those.

…are you?

Tell me if you are in the comments. I genuinely need to know.