Most of us think we’re pretty good at reading social situations, and the older we get, the more practice under our belt, and the less likely we are to totally misread a situation.
So I’m sure it took a lot for these 15 guys to admit that one time they totally missed the mark.
15. Subtlety is lost on many.
As a woman reading this thread, I’m beginning to throw away my confidence in any smooth moves I may have had/used.
I’m feeling like the best thing to say is gonna be “you’re hot, let’s bang.”
14. I mean…are you?
I was in high school, she was a friend of mine. At her suggestion, we watched “Debbie Does Dallas” together — just the two of us. She snuggled up against me on the couch, and I thought about how cool it was that we were mature enough to watch porn and not have it be weird or anything.
I went home shortly after the movie ended.
For the rest of high school she was convinced I was gay because there was no way that I wouldn’t have made a move on her otherwise.
After another friend of mine explained what had happened to me, I thought I was gay.
13. I’m unfamiliar with this sort of drunk mind.
Her: “It’s too cold for you to sleep on the couch, come cuddle”
In my drunk mind: “Cheap ass girl, won’t turn the heater on”
12. Come ON, man!
Not me personally, but my housemate accidentally turned down a very, very attractive Russian girl on his birthday, despite being given three chances.
After a night out we left the two of them in the house alone while we went for pizza, both where drunk, him more than her. She asked “How long do you think we have?” He responds “I don’t know”. She says “I think we’ve got a while” He says “I hope not, I’m hungry”.
we get back, eat pizza together, and she asks to see his room, he says no as he wants to stay and play cards. Then when she goes to leave I suggest he walks her home, she agrees but then he says “It’s not that far, she doesn’t need walking” I try to convince him otherwise but he’s not having any of it.
When she’s finally left we’re both sat in the kitchen talking and suddenly he realises what he just did. He just stands up, shouts “For f*ck’s sake!” and storms out of the room. He spent the next two weeks sulking about it. What a birthday…
11. How could you miss that?
Ugghh! I had a similar situation with my friend’s Polish friend at a wedding.
She was crazy attractive and we were in a group talking at the bar. She singles me out to talk for a bit and mentioned she can do a really great Russian accent. After inquiring, she says “I give really great blowjob ya” in a thick accent. Then she gets up, touches my shoulder and says “I’m gonna head back to my room”.
And she leaves while I turned back to my other friends and pounded a few more rounds. Eventually, one of them asks where ‘so and so’ went off to and I told them…to which the bartender bursts out laughing saying I had no clue what I just passed on and she thought I did it on purpose.
My head hit the table and she ended up giving me a drink on the house.
10. That’s not how she normally sleeps.
At the time her abusive ex-bf was banging her roommates. And she could hear them, so I offered to let her sleep at my place whenever he came over.
I lent her my bed and she told me that there was a lot of room and I didn’t have to sleep on the chair. I was kind of tired then, so I just slept on the bed beside her.
She took off her clothes.
I thought that was how she normally slept, so I didn’t say anything, turned my back towards her and went to sleep. She wasn’t there in the morning.
9. I moustache you a question…
Had a tremendous moustache last month.
Girl in my class tells me as we’re leaving, “You know,
I’ve never kissed a guy with a moustache before.”I say “You know, neither have I.”
AND THEN I WALKED AWAY!!!!
WHAT THE HELL MAN!?
8. You didn’t need to be quite so dedicated.
During my University years one of my classmates asked me if I wanted to study with her, I said “sure” and she told me to come by her place around 5 so we can study, have some dinner and study some more. instead, I told her that it would be much easier to study in the library because we will have access to all the resources we may need. After graduation she told me she had a huge crush on me and that she spent a lot of time to build up the courage to invite me over
7. Wow, that’s forward. And yet…
When I was 15 a girl decided to grab my iPod and stuff it into her bra, and then told me I wasn’t getting it back until I fished it out myself. As a socially awkward and stupid 15 year old I was mentally fre*king out and told her she could borrow it instead. Man how I’m kicking myself now.
6. But the rules!
A group of guys and girls are horsing around the dorm common area. I’m giving one cute girl a piggy back ride, and she whispers in my ear “Why don’t you give me a ride up to my room?” I answer “Guys aren’t allowed on the girls floor,” and give her another ride around the room.
Working in a camera store when a really attractive women my age, with the sexiest South African accent came in. I spent about 30 minutes trying to sell her a camera, and then she left. One of my coworkers came up to me and asked if I got her number and was meeting her later, and I was like “No, why?” Apparently she was sending out signals like she was a radio antenna. Everyone else in the store noticed, but I missed every single one of them.
The beautiful woman who had recently moved in next door knocked on my door and asked for a cup of sugar. I gave her a cup of sugar and sent her on her way.
Fortunately the woman from number 3 was more persistent, and we’ve been happily married for 20 years. She says I still get women hitting on me, and I never notice. She likes that about me.
5. This is equal parts hilarious and sad.
Incoming text. Approx. 1am.
From: Vanessa. “I’m home alone. Come play video games?”. I cab down to her place and proceed to destroy her at mario kart. She’s not even trying to win!
I thought she wanted to play video games?!
Eventually, she even admitted it: “Richard_yeltser, I don’t really want to play video games anymore”.
Oh okay, she must be tired. Time to go home!
4. You wouldn’t want to get chilly.
Walked out of a club with a girl I’d been dancing with all night. She kissed me on the cheek and mentions that we should split a cab back to hers and save some money. “Nah, it’s too cold and it’s like a 20 minute walk from yours to mine. I’ll see you tomorrow though!”
I woke up the next morning with no hangover and the majority of the map on Civ 4.
3. This is honestly so sweet and pure.
A few years ago I was working at my elementary school’s annual spring fling.
That day I volunteered to be the school mascot(a big-ass bear costume) for the morning shift. It was a boring job of feeling like a pedophile the whole time because little kids would hug you constantly and be all over you.
They were at just the perfect height for every kid’s face to be just in your crotch.
It was nearing noon and my shift was soon to be over when a girl my age, 17, stole the bear head right from my own head and ran away with it. I wasn’t gonna pay for a damn bear head if she didn’t return it, so I ran after her and followed her into an empty classroom with the lights off and the shudders shut tightly. She said something like “oh looky here, mr papa bear, I’m holding your head, I’m a bad girl”
I was pissed she took it and wasn’t thinking so I, being oblivious to her remark, took the head yelled “THE CHILDREN NEED ME” and stormed out.
TL;DR chick took my head off, I was pissed and worried for the children
2. Oh, goodnight!
Back in college, i met a girl when she burst through my dorm door at the sound of my massive belch and screamed “oh my god, that was awesome!”
She was absolutely beautiful and turned out to be incredibly intelligent and fun. We hung out all year, helped her with her physics, gave massages, listened to her about her bf issues, the works.
I never made a move and it never crossed my mind to because I’m not the home wrecking type. Some time in the year they broke up. Here’s the kicker: on more than a couple nights after that, she would show up at my dorm door in nothing but her towel “just to say good night.” And that’s exactly what I’d say, “oh, good night!” As she’d leave I’d always think to myself and say “god damn I wish I could have that!” It took me a couple years to think back and realize how absolutely retarded I was not to see what she was doing.
I haven’t seen her since that year, but we’re friends on fb. Every time I see her on there I kick myself just a little bit, not just for missing a booty call, but for letting someone amazing like her slip out of my life.
1. I think I feel more sorry for the girl.
Back in college, there was this girl who started as a friend, but over time, wanted to be more than a friend. Sadly, I was far too naive and insecure to pick up on her multiple hints. Here’s one of the worst:
We had been hanging out at a party at a friend’s house for a couple of hours. The Leonid meteor shower was supposed to be pretty active that night, so she suggested that we drive out in the country and watch it together. I said “Okay, sounds cool,” so we packed up and headed out.
As we were driving, she said “You know, some of your friends are starting to ask if I’m your girlfriend.”
Me: “Oh really? That’s interesting.”We drove out to a dirt road in the middle of the nowhere, spread a sleeping bag out in the back of my truck, laid back…and watched the meteor shower.
Edit: To the multiple people who have asked, I do not have Asperger’s Syndrome. I was just painfully insecure, in the “She can’t possibly be interested in me that way” sort of way. My game has gotten moderately better since then.
I mean, bless their hearts, right?
Have you ever totally blown it, George Costanza style?
Tell us the story! In the comments! Because that’s what we do!