There are a lot of stories out there. Hundreds of thousands of books are published every year in the United States alone, and we’re all quite literally posting our own “stories” to social media on a daily basis.
But most of those don’t contain much of an arc or a narrative; they’re just sort of day-in-the-life updates. If you want to hear some real stories from ordinary people, boy do I have the thread for you. User BelvitaBiscuitz took to r/AskReddit to ask:
There are thousands of responses; thousands of stories. They range from the horribly sad to the extravagantly joyful to the just plan odd.
Here’s a curated selection of just a few of our favorites.
1. Not an Egg-cellent Idea
When I was a college freshman I tried to boil 3 eggs then fell asleep. I woke up to a smell. I went to the stove and the water was completely gone from the pot. So like an idiot I got some water in a big bowl and poured it into the pot. You probably know where this is going. The eggs exploded like dynamite. Scalding hot egg hit my face. It blew me back and knocked me to the floor.
Here’s the scary part. I felt my face and looked at the egg on my finger but thought it was burnt skin coming off my face. I almost started crying. How badly burned was I that the my facial skin came off to the touch? I walked to the bathroom, shaking, and looked in the mirror. I expected to see a horribly disfigured face but I saw egg and eggshells. I wiped it with my hand and felt incredible relief. I also felt incredibly stupid, but so what, right?
I spent the next hour cleaning egg off the ceiling, the walls, the floor etc. My face was red for a couple days.
– Loggerdon
2. A Whole Lot of Trouble
When I was in kindergarten I fell asleep on the bus to school. No one woke me up.
I wake up eventually and the bus is empty. I panic, as any 5 year old does, and run to the front of the bus and try the door. It’s locked.
It was parked in a KFC parking lot, so people were coming in and out of the building. I started wailing with terror, banging on the glass doors, snot pouring down my face and into my mouth as people walk by and point at me. They mumbled and got Into their car and left.
By the time the bus driver finally came back out with her chicken meal, the entire door was covered in my slobber and tears. She instructed me how to open the closed door so she didn’t have to put her meal down. I was still fre*king out obviously and didn’t understand. So she SIGHED, put her food down and finally opened the door and asked me what was I doing there?!?
She called the school and drove me there, still covered in snot. I remember walking into my class with everyone standing in a line and hugging me one at a time.
After that day, they made a rule for all bus drivers to get up and walk the bus front to back to make sure no kids get left sleeping.
– Why-Me-God
3. The Deserter
My father seldom spoke of his wartime experiences. I’ve only heard two direct stories from his mouth. He once recounted how his brother (they fought together) was shot and later died from infection. The other memory was of his desertion. During a battle, he hurt his wrist from falling and sat there in the mud, wincing in pain and catching his breath. As he peered out, seeing all the death and destruction, he was suddenly hit with an intense feeling of futility. And not just mere futility, but he realized also the absurdity of it all.
“I got up and just walked away,” he said, “leaving my weapon right there on the ground.” He disappeared into the surrounding woods, somehow managing to get back home, which was nearly 300 miles away. “Weren’t you worried about getting in trouble?” I asked in all my childlike innocence. He explained that things were desperate by the time he entered the war. He was underage, so he lied about his name and age in order to “enlist.” He received little to no training and was immediately thrust into action. “They had nothing on me,” he said. “I enlisted with little more than a handshake.”
Although he was ineligible to receive a pension because of his false and/or lacking records, I’m under the impression he never would’ve accepted such. He was ashamed of that part of history and developed a profound distaste for government. This story was kept pretty hushed in our family as we didn’t want the surrounding community to know of his desertion and label him a coward. I, however, always admired him for doing what he did.
– 0ldGeezer
4. The Shock
I nearly died at work. I was removing the main supply (200V, 3P) wire on the machine we just successfully overhauled.
The problem is, I wasn’t aware that the main circuit breaker was still turned on. I already had the gut feeling to check the breaker, but I was stubborn and proceed to remove the wires. As I removed the second wire, I accidentally short circuited it, creating a huge spark right in front of my eyes.
First thing I did was to check my hand, which was thankfully unharmed but had visible dark spots due to the strong electric current on the short circuiting of the wires. Good thing I was half conscious and went on to turn off the main circuit breaker.
Some of my work mates saw and approached me while asking if everything was alright. After removing the wire, I took a walk and had a deep thought what might happened to me if those wires touched me. I might have suffered a severe third degree burn, or lose a limb, or died from electrocution.
Folks, always be careful and always trust your gut feeling.
– PraetorOfSilence
5. Mile High Club
I keep my s^x life private irl, so I have never told anyone about the one and only time I had s^x in public, and subsequently the one and only time I got caught having sex.
By someone in an airplane.
My bf and I were out at the deserted quarry on the edge of town and we were going at it when a little 2 seater plane flew overhead.
The plane then proceeded to turn around and fly over us again, this time dipping (wiggling?) its wings when it was overhead.
– stopstaringatmeswan4
6. Quick Thinking
In 6th grade, we had this paper we had to write, I forget what the subject was.
I decided to procrastinate a lot. Then the day it was due rolled around, and I had nothing.
We had to read our papers out loud in front of the class. I was totally prepared to take the zero, but then I realized he wasnt actually taking the papers we used.
So I decided to go up to the front of the class with a blank sheet of paper, and improvise. I ended up getting an 80.
– HexagonPenis
7. The Guardian
My aunt was forced to hand her kids over to her alc*holic ex for a weekend visitation but she was terrified he’d hurt them so she sent me with them.
I was 7 or maybe 8. They were 2 and 4. I thought myself so much older and decided it was the responsible thing to do so I went.
While at his apartment, he got wasted and called my aunt and told her he was going to throw them off his very high balcony. They were asleep.
I didn’t sleep at all that night. I sat up all night (no small feat at that age) to make sure he didn’t kill my baby cousins.
Nobody knows. I think about it daily and wonder if it’s why I have panic disorder.
– monopolyonideas
8. A Crushing Ride
so i was at a water park with a girl I had a huge crush on and some of our mutual friends. i’m not a big fan of rides, she had been trying to talk me into going on one all day, and i finally agreed to try out this one really intense looking slide. basically you go down the slide while sitting on this big inflatable thing, and it was for two people so naturally i got paired up with the girl i had a crush on.
we both climbed into the inflatable, which had these little handles on it for you to hold onto when you went down. when we went down the slide, it was WAY faster than I thought it would be. I accidentally let go of one of the handles, tried to grab it again, and ended up grabbing her hand instead by accident.
i was really embarrassed but she put her other hand on top of mine until we reached the bottom. i guess she thought i was scared, which is also kinda embarrassing, but it was a nice moment. She later went on to be my first kiss about 6 months later, and we’re still close friends today
– AV8ORboi
9. Euphoria
I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Western Samoa. One weekend several of my fellow volunteers and I went camping on this tiny private island.
On the first or second night, we made a bonfire and all got super drunk then went skinny dipping.
The water was only about chest deep, warm and still. There was no light pollution so the stars were blazingly bright. We also inadvertently kicked up some bioluminescents, filling the water with stars.
Tipsily floating naked in the warm sea, completely surrounded on all sides by stars, and close friends is one of my most beautiful and euphoric memories.
– Kathrynlena
10. Not Safe for Work
One time I accidentally posted a highly NSFW copypasta on a Facebook group that I thought was private and all my friends were notified since I didn’t make an alt account.
Months later I still avoid the subject whenever people try to bring it up.
– HDSQ
Everybody’s got a story. Some of us have a lot. What’s one that you’ve maybe never told?
Remember, the internet is a great place to vent it out anonymously.
Share stories in the comments!