What sort of monsters don’t have an assigned side of the bed?
The kind of monsters who are friends with journalist Jeff Stein…
https://twitter.com/JStein_WaPo/status/1154939533156409344
In every couple, there is an unspoken agreement (and nightstand full of cr*p you rarely need) that sits next to the side of the bed that is “yours.” That’s just the way of things, and it’s the way it should be…except for this one couple who thinks they can just sleep willy-nilly on whichever side of the bed the feel like plopping onto on a given night.
Stein admitted that though it seemed like anarchy to him, maybe there was something to it.
https://twitter.com/JStein_WaPo/status/1155075199634739202
Twitter was on my side, though, and basically thought those people should never speak of their strange bedroom practice again.
How do they know if they wake up on the 'wrong side of the bed'? 😕 pic.twitter.com/M5PW0tPLb2
— barrieblonde 🇨🇦 (@barrieblonde) July 28, 2019
Because who would do this?!
If one of us accidentally falls asleep on the wrong side, we need to wake up and move. My god, we aren’t animals.
— Matt REAL❄️AF🤘😝🤘 (@mshalk) July 28, 2019
It makes no sense!
https://twitter.com/AuraLeeHarvey/status/1154945965154947073
Do you want chaos to reign in your bedroom?
Whoa… even when we're on vacation we keep the same relative sides. I don't think we could sleep otherwise.
— Lasala (@Lasala402) July 29, 2019
What’s next? Cannibalism?
Personal log 10:02 The humans still do not suspect us.
14:17 *engage SmallTalk mode + SocialAnalysis mode*
We like sports.
(Positive result.)Yes, your baby is beautiful.
(Positive result)We have no set sides of the bed.
(Why are we on fire?)— Mr Dysphemistic (@manyshovels) July 27, 2019
There really isn’t excuse for this…
burn your sources. this is a fucked up thing to grant anonymity for
— Christopher Hooks (@cd_hooks) July 27, 2019
They should be locked up…
Bold of you to admit you’re friends with serial killers publicly.
— Alanah Pearce (@Charalanahzard) July 28, 2019
Okay, maybe that was a bit extreme.
I broke up with someone who wanted to do this
— politics and poetry (@rebelpioneer) July 27, 2019
These are important questions, y’all, and idk maybe we need a follow-up interview or something.
Or maybe there are some things we just don’t want to know details on…